Uncut Japan ~ View topic

Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 32

Yesterday as I was walking home at Ueno Stn. a strange thing happened.

As I was boarding an escalator, an elderly, rather intoxicated man in front of me fell over while being transported to the next level by the metallic rising steps. Taking on the passive observer persona I generally tend to adopt in life, I stood aside to let the man roll down to the bottom of the escalator, at which point I would kindly offer up assistance. However in a short space of time I came to the realization that he was rolling down the escalator at exactly the same pace that the escalator was carrying him up. In short? This guy was rolling nowhere fast.

I stood there perplexed as to what to do as I watched in amazement this odd sight of a drunkard, bumbling forever down what essentially was a set of moving stairs carrying him to the same position. Forever. Bump, roll, jostle, plomp, bumb, kaplonk down the escalator like a sack of shit in one of the most shameless displays of lunacy I’ve ever seen in my life! This guy was truly an idiot!

I finally awoke out of my bemused stupor & ran up to wedge him in place so as to stop him rolling until he got to the top. In a humiliating gesture behind bloodshot eyes of One Cup Sake, he raised one hand in prayer position & muttered Sooo mmaaasennn. (My apologies ). I accepted & left him bumping his butt against the endless procession of steel toothed steps.

My dear wife hoped that she would never find herself in that position in our long & mysterious life. Me too.

Dr. Chops,

I think that's both the funniest, and saddest thing I've read in a long time. I just can't get the image out of my head of him rolling down the escalator for all eternity.

It reminds me of Prometheus, from Greek mythology, who was punished by the gods. He was chained to the top of a mountain and everyday an eagle would swoop down and eat his regenerating liver.

Endlessly rolling down an escalator could be a new kind of punishment for them!
You did the right thing by helping out the old man.

Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 55 Location: Tokyo

Fucking gold! I can imagine it now. I think you need to hit JR and try and get a copy of the surveillance tape on that one, could be video of the year.

Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 23 Location: Tokyo

Wow...

I had the same experience...kinda. Back in like 99' I was in NYC's 42nd St. Station walking to catch my bus back to Univ. As I was walking I happened to look over at the escalator and saw this women (heavy 230lbs.) fall straight back at the top of the escalator. Nobody was behind her...all I heard was a bunch of cracks and popps and watched her keep rolling and rolling until a cop ran over stopped the escalator so she could finish rolling. I was a bit sick at this point and decided to get on that bus. I'm pretty sure she died...but then she let out this huge yelp like a dog with its foot stuck in a car door.
Got on the bus...driving through the city and saw this guy shaving the bottom of his foot..skin off with a razor.
NYC!! Its soo hott!