Uncut Japan ~ View topic - What's the worst job you've had in your life?

Believe it or not, NOVA is not the worst job I've ever had. It's actually only my 3rd worst.

The worst job I ever had was back in 1998 at this dump on Haight St. in San Francisco called "Holey Bagel." The place was infested with rats, and they'd go scampering everytime we walked in back to get supplies. They used to crap all over the soda cans too, and we were told just to brush it off b4 restocking the fridge. This is where my habit started of thoroughly cleaning cans b4 drinking from them.

The dude who came in to make the bagels at night was a spitting image of "Sloth" from the Goonies, and was a cokehead to boot! The guy had one long, scraggly tooth, which led us to give him the obvious nickname, "Toof." He and the owner, a scumbag named Pierre, were coke buddies, and "Toof" was the supplier.

Pierre was a tyrant who liked to verbally abuse us during his coke binges. But he got his. One time he came in with his face smashed in. Turns out some guy caught him in bed with his wife and beat the holey crap outta him!

Holey Bagel's breakfast specialty was the "Egg Tasty" aka "Egg Nasty" which was liquified egg poured in a used cream cheese container, zapped in the micro, and then plopped on a bagel with a slice of generic American cheese. One bite of it was sure to produce enough abdominal cramping and methane gas to power your house for a week.

There are tons of homeless in that area, and they used to come in and mess with us sometimes. One dude walked in the front door, pulled down his pants and started pissing right on the floor. What could we do?! We had to stop letting customers use the bathroom in back cause "gutter punks" would go in there and shoot up all the time. All we could do was bust out the bleach, and get to mopping.

What's your worst job ever? Maybe crap job stories could make a good Voice topic.

Next, I'll post crap job #2.

I swear this guy could've been Toof's twin brother!

Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Yokohama, Japan

well mine wasnt quite as gnarley as yours gramps but it genuinely sucked balls. Working at the food court at Costco. Fucking nightmare. Hairnets, aprons, and shitty white greasy hats were the attire. Slinging grease for a living was the shits especially when cute girls with their moms were walking by every two seconds....and emptying the old french fry oil into the grease bin in the back was the crustiest, most degrading duty every....especially when you accidently pour in all over your shoes!...oh what a stinker that job was....

Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Yokohama, Japan

still waiting for number two gramps!

*Last edited by Grandpa on Tue Oct 31, 2006 1:16 am; edited 1 time in total*

Sorry bro. No time to post it tonight, but I'll post it tomorrow night for sure!

---Just Kidding!

Alright, I'm back from my hermitude, and it's time for crappy job #2.

I'm afraid it's gonna have to be "Ultimate Yogurt and More" on Castro St in San Frandisco. For those who aren't familiar with SF, the Castro is the "Gay District" of the city, similar to Wee-Ho, a.k.a. West Hollywood in LA. The Castro is much more "fierce" than Wee-Ho, and on any given night, wild Bears can be found roaming the streets, hunting for fresh young meat. eye twitch

Besides having to fend off Bears every night, Ultimate Yogurt and More, a.k.a. "Oh-yo" could have been a pretty cool job. It was basically a healthy smoothie joint. We made all kinds of drinks with supplements, including wheat grass shots. The owners were pretty cool, and didn't mind if we helped ourselves to the product.

The co-workers were also pretty chill:

- One of the shift managers was a best friend from High School, so whenever we were working, we'd celebrate with alcoholic smoothies at the end of the shift.

- Then there was "the Hippy." I don't wanna say his real name out of respect, cause he ended up becoming a full-blown junkie. Started out with a few heroin balloons he picked up in the Mission Distict. You could usually find him in back, puffing tar off the end of a paperclip. Aside from that, he caused no trouble.

- There was also Vicente. A heavy weed-smoking, mellow, gay dude from Mexico, who was once a tranny...though you'd never suspect it, as he now had a shaved head and goatee. The guy used to take hormones in High School and lived life as a female in Mexico City. It was the best way to get down with all the straight jocks, he said. Shocked

- Last but not least...Skippy. I don't even wanna get into it, but lets just say, the guy was "different."

So yeah, everything could have been mellow if it wasn't for a bigtime kook there named, Eric. He was some gay chump from Idaho who moved out to San Francisco to make the bigtime. After becoming head manager at "Oh-yo" he thought he was some kind of hero.

The guy was a mental case. He read about "The Pleiadians," and believed aliens were communicating to him through his cat. Even worse, this nutjob used to sexually harass us. I'm talking nasty comments, spanking butts, pinching nipples...the whole 9 yards. At first, we took it as a joke, but then realized it was some kind of power play.

He played favorites with the gay guys, and anyone who was openly straight got their schedule fucked with. We had an "On-Call" system where they could call you in to work if it got too busy. Usually you'd be on-call a few hours a week, but once, when I pushed him after trying to pinch my nipple, he jacked my schedule, so I was On-Call 6 days a week...with only 1 regular shift!

Needless to say, I bailed that joint. "Oh-yo" in the Castro folded a couple years later, and last I heard, that creep, Eric, crawled back to Idaho, a broken man.

But I'm pretty sure there is one "Ultimate Yogurt and More" still hanging on in the rich Marina District of Frisco Disco. Go get a wheat grass shot if you're ever in town.

horse apples

Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Yokohama, Japan

grandpa i feel for you man....it seems like every little place like that always has two or three of the most randomly lame people and for some reason you never forget them.......

Well might as well throw out my second worst as well.....hauling drywall during fall and winter in the rainiset city in Canada. So the day would start promptly @ 6 am every morning and it was a half hour drive for me so 5am wake ups were neccessary 5 sometimes 6 days a week. In the dark hours of the rainy mornings we would throw tarps over the faltbed trucks stacked 15 feet high with drywall and rope them for about 20 minutes. By the end of this we would all already be soaked. Then the day would actually start. After a stop for a morning coffee (which was the high point of the day), we would drive usually a half hour to the site of the day. Sometimes we would load the stacks of drywall into elevators, windows, up staircases...wherever the shit would fit basically. But this was back breaking work, literally. Sometimes we would unload four trucks worth in a day...show up when its dark...leave when its dark. Sometimes these sheets were 12 feet long and double 3/8 inch thickness. It was the most repetive job you can imagine. Pick up an awkward sheet twist, jolt, and bend it through doors and windows trying to stay standing and not throw out your back, while at the same time hoping the guy in front of you wouldn't trip and fall, leaving you the victim of the slab smacking you in the head. By the end of the day your were sweaty, dirty, run down, tired and fuckin grumpy. On shitty, rainy, winter days this seeemed like the lowest of the low....and i could understand why people in the construction industry have to be tough fuckers.....but man....don't haul drywall whatever you do..........

Dude, ur #2 sounds like it should be #1! I know how cold it gets in SF on winter mornings, but I can only imagine what Canada's like. That image of slinging tarp over a truck in the pouring rain at the buttcrack of dawn sounds brutal!