Uncut Japan ~ View topic

Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 1 Location: MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE

somebody made an attempt to steal my poo in vancouver, bc. i took a dump in a restroom in the food court of a mall, i stood up and turned around, raised my leg and flushed the toilet with my foot and i began to watch my poo swirl around and get sucked down the drain. as my foot was still on the flusher, a man slid into my stall through the 1-2 foot space at the bottom of the metal partitions. he slithered into the toilet, shoved his hands in the flushing water and frantically searched for the poo that minutes before worked its way out of my butt. i have never seen such determination in my life, he had to work fast to capture my poo before it was sucked down the drain. i was petrified and at that moment my life flashed before me. i saw visions of me as a child! i decided i should scream, a squeek fumbled out of my mouth instead. the man released the poo that he was clenching in his hand, turned his face up towards me, apologized, and slid back into his stall. i was frozen for ten minutes at which point i had gathered enough courage to go on living again. but the bastard clogged the toilet and i was faced with a new dilemma. do i flush the toilet or let the crazy man have my poo? i chose the first option and i flushed the toilet. i stood there watching the toilet suck down each and every last piece of fecal matter. i wasn't ready to enter into the real world so i stood their absorbing what had just happened. what had happened? why did this man want my poo!!!! i heard foot traffic in the restroom and i realized i was in their way too long. i walked out the door and my friend, keiko, was there with a concerned look on her face and she embraced me and instantly began rubbing my back and she guided me towards a seat. she asked if i was ok and i realized i was shaking. i told her what had happened and she broke out into hysterical laughter. i was almost in tears, but before the tears could fall, my shock disappeared and i was in awe. some man just slid into my stall after i took a dump, dove head first into a flushing toilet while i was standing there, and he began to fish out the rapidly disappearing poo! WOW!!!! i began laughing hysterically.

Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 55 Location: Tokyo

I am shocked/ fascinated. The turd burglar is not a myth!

Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 93 Location: Oomori, Tokyo

Wow man, Steve's version was good, but this is amazing, to hear it from the guy... the one (and hopefully only) victim of the B.C. turd burglar, damned canucks!

Joined: 30 Jul 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Los Angeles

Watch your back. You never know who's burgalin' these days.

Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 32

what can I say? I think my signature sums it up...

Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 32

Was this the guy?